Tuesday, August 16, 2011

He loves me not?


Last winter I was having a horrible, no good, frustrating day.

We were in the midst of a blizzard, lice had invaded our home, my kitchen had last night's dirty dinner dishes stacked everywhere, and I felt like a frazzled, chaotic mess.

Have you ever had a horrible, no good, frustrating day?

In the midst of my craziness, I had a huge writing deadline. On this morning, I was preparing my testimony for an upcoming event.

I was using a daisy as a prop to tell my story. I sat at my desk, holding a daisy pen, as I was reflecting on my journey.

I thought of how for much of my life (before Jesus!) I believed the lie that my worth and my value was based on my outward appearance and achievements....much like the childhood school yard game girls would play "He loves me, He loves me not"...



When I lost weight, got good grades, or had attention from a boy, I would say,"They love me!".....

But when my pants got tight, or I was teased, or didn’t get picked for the team ~ again, I would believe, "They love me not!!".

And given that I was a shy, chubby, red-haired girl with freckles, most of my life I believed, “they love me not!”,

“Not loved” became my identity….
Suddenly, on this horrible, no good, frustrating day, while clenching my daisy pen, I cried out in despair…

“Oh God, I don't ever want to doubt Your love for me again! But is it true, God? Is it true You love me? I don’t feel lovable! Look at me, Lord, I'm a mess! I’m still in my pj’s, my hairs not combed, my life feels crazy…is it true You are here with me and that you love me??"

About an hour later, my doorbell rang. Outside was my neighbor Tricia. Tricia had braved the cold and snow to bring me a gift bag filled with fresh baked bread, and a sweet note of encouragement.

As I thanked Tricia for her kindness, and received the gift from her, I noticed the bright colorful bag had a bright beautiful daisy on the front.


Shortly before supper the doorbell rang again. To my surprise it was a delivery man with a vase full of flowers, for me.

You know what kind of flowers they were, right?? Daisies, from my brother & sister-in-law, to brighten my day.


Never before, and not since that day, have I received daisies from others. Not one time. But on that day, God knew exactly what I needed, didn’t He?

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."
Jeremiah 31:3

I'm not sure what circumstances you are faced with today, my sweet friend, but may I remind you ~ you are loved.

Regardless of your circumstances.
Regardless of the condition of your house.
Regardless of your pants size.

You are loved. :)



Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! Sweet blessings to you!



P.S. I'm linking up today with Jen and friends at Soli Deo Gloria. Be sure to check out this amazing sisterhood of women! :)




9 comments:

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

Love this post! God is so cool like that. He sends just what we need, exactly when we need it. He's done it over and over in my life.

Nana's Nuggets said...

HI! CINDY~ LOVED THIS POST! PACKED FULL OF JOY! AND WOULD YOU KNOW IT~ MY FAV FLOWER IS THAT LITTLE DAISY!! I JUST LOVE THESE LITTLE FLOWERS BECAUSE THEY JUST SPEAK SIMPLICITY!!:)AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT "THAT SMILE":) OF YOURS IS SUCH A GIFT!! YOU SHARED TODAY~ A BLESSING WITH ME AND THAT WAS YOUR FLOWERS! AS WELL AS YOUR JOY! LOVE IT!! HAPPY:) DAY!

journeytoepiphany said...

I remember the time God gave me a whole field of goldenrods! :) http://wp.me/p1pPE2-6q

journeytoepiphany said...

I remember the time God gave me an entire field of goldenrod! http://wp.me/p1pPE2-6q

Amelia said...

Love this post! Isn't it just amazing the way He will lavish His love on us like that?

Irene Cortez said...

Aww, Cindy, I am so touched by your post! I could so relate to "feeling so unlovable" at times. And isn't God so amazing? He would definitely give us what we truly needed at the moment? He is THE BEST in fulfilling all our needs. It may not always be what we expect, but what He gives us is always THE BEST. :-)

Take care and God bless! :-)

Irene

Amy Sullivan said...

Awww, just like Alexander and the No Good, Very Bad Day. The lice alone would have pushed me over the edge!

Deanna said...

Beautiful flowers.
I like to think we sweeties are more than flowers in the garden of life! Flowers are lovely, but we're so much more.

We're special!
Royalty and daughters of the most high God.
Hurray and amen.

Love u,
d from homehaven in the flinthills of kansas

Jen said...

I just marvel at the times when God is so abundant with His message that we can't help but receive it. This is a beautiful story and I am so glad you shared it!!

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