Friday, April 27, 2012

Coping Strategies for the Frazzled Female

Hey Friends ~

I'll be painfully's been a tough week.

I'd love to tell you my week has been filled with family fun, creativity, warm fuzzies and snuggle time ~ but this mama is struggling. Big time.

I keep saying to John, "Why do my feelings still get hurt so easily?", "When am I going to grow past this?" "What do I do with these feelings"???

Yesterday I was listening to a powerful teaching and a gifted teacher said these 4 words that have rocked my world ~ "....YOU CANNOT SELECTIVELY NUMB.....".

If we numb the hurt, the pain, the fear and the insecurities ~ we also numb our joy, our love, our happiness, our peace.

And friends, I refuse to live numb. I will feel the feelings...even if it hurts. 
Can anyone else relate??

You may remember, last year one of my precious little ones was meeting with a therapist for some extra help. She spent one session learning "coping strategies" ~ her mini toolbox of tips to pull from when she's faced with a difficult situation.

Thankfully one of her assignments was to copy the strategies and hang them all over the house. They are still hanging! This week I decided I need to revisit them and put them back to use in my life too!!!

**Here are my Top Ten Coping Strategies for the Frazzled Woman**
(adopted from my daughter's list)

1. Deal with your feelings

It's ok (and very helpful/healthy) to share, "I feel......".

Our feelings are our feelings and we need to get them out in healthy, safe ways. And yes, we use the feelings chart in our home (a lot!). Unfortunately this Mama has forgotten that her feelings matter too.

How are YOU feeling today???

2. Think about the good side

Today I'm choosing to think on thoughts that are good, healthy and positive. Philippians 4:8 (MSG) has been wonderful to reflect on...

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious--the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.

3. Focus on what can and can’t be changed

We can't change people, their responses, or the pain they are dealing with and their unhealthy reactions....but we can change how we respond and what we do with our feelings.

4. Nobody’s perfect

That's freeing, isn't it? I don't have to be a perfect mom/wife/woman (and you don't either!)

5. Take a break.

What a good reminder during the busy Spring season. We can't so everything. Someone else can drive on the field trip or bring the cookies for the parent meeting. The emails can wait. Moms need breaks too.

6. One step at a time

7. Take care of yourself.

This week I went to the gym 2 nights after I tucked the kids in. Of course, they whine "Don't leave me. I can't sleep if you're not here." (Good grief. Their dad is home. All is well). 

I went anyway, and let me tell you I felt VICTORIOUS! It 's great to model "Mom needs to take care of herself too"

How will you take care of yourself today???

8. Plan ahead

I'm learning that it is very helpful to plan ahead, but then to hold the plan loosely. Life happens.

But if I plan ahead and think about, for example, what I will feed my family at 6 PM ~ it sure helps alleviate a lot of chaos in the home (and then I end up ordering pizza. again.)

9. Ask for help

Aren't you glad we don't have to journey alone? Who are your 3 people that you could call at 4 AM in the morning and they'd help you in a heartbeat? We all need those people!

10. Pray! (Added by me!)

After my "mini meltdown" this week, it was GREAT to go to the coffee shop yesterday for 3 hours and just pray, lifting all of my concerns/needs/worries to God! I'm leaning hard on Him and His Word as I learn how to "cope" with these "tight spots" in life!

How about for you? What coping strategies do you have in your "tool belt"? How do you live "frazzle free"?

I'd love to hear from you!

Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*!

May your weekend be filled with love, real face to face connections, joy and oodles of peace!

P.S. One of my good friends (and graphic designers) turned this "coping strategies" list into a pdf file. If you'd like a copy, send me your email and I'll send a copy to you (next week)!


Denise said...

Amen, great tips.

Leah Adams said...

Great reminder. Praying for a nice relaxing weekend for you.

Anonymous said...

Oh, how great the timing...I melted down yesterday and the result is an unbearable headache today. Your tips and comments are just what I need right now!!! I would love a copy of the email. Thank you for sharing and allowing me to know that it is okay to I just REALLY need to work on my reactions! :>) MS (

Lisa Lewis Koster said...

Wow! Looks like we are facing the same struggles. I notice EVERYTHING, which can be a blessing or a curse, depending on what it is I'm noticing! I'd love a copy of your list, and thanks for sharing!

Courtney said...

Cindy, what great tips for this season of craziness. It seems like when spring has sprung, we moms run after it trying to get everything accomplished before kids are out of school and the summer starts. Just breathe in what God has brought to your table each day. I have learned from our dear friend, Tricia, this week to praise the Lord all the time, in every season good or bad, and to focus on His plans, not ours. I will pray for you tonight.

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

Sometimes the only thing we can do is cast our cares on God {and the friends He has blessed us with}. I can relate to feeling frazzled in this season of life. Praying for you!!

Jessie said...

This was so nice for me to read today. We've been dealing with a family crisis on top of leading the youth in our "youth sunday". It would have been fine but one of the adults was very passive aggressive with me. I kept thinking "is there no grace for me here!" Thank you for reminding me that I do matter.

Anonymous said...

Cindy, I'd like a copy of your list, please! Hope you had a peace-filled encouraging w/e. Love, Jenny email:

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