West Michigan friends: Our Magnificent Monday Bible Study begins on September 27, 2010. We would love to have you join us! :)Hello Friends!
Happy Weekend to you! After a full week with a sick little girl, our neighborhood still on high alert (although no new fires ~ Praise the Lord!), and a bjillion other things going on (some sad news ~ I'll fill you in more next week) ~ I feel a very random post coming on. Thank goodness for Caffeinated Randomness! :)
* First, dear Gigi, thank you for sharing on my Dreams & Detours post. I am so sorry for your loss. And dear bloggy friends, thank you for ministering to Gigi through your comments and prayers. What a blessing to be part of such a beautiful on-line community. Y'all make me so proud :)
* Thank you, too, for praying for my Amanda. Thankfully her illness didn't spread (whew!), and I made it through 2 days of movies, games, snuggle time and book reading without losing my joy once. (It also helped that my dad came over so I could run some quick errands, and John came home early too. Thanks, guys!). I appreciate your prayers for my family so very much! :)
* Lastly, as many of you know, this summer I've been very honest about my lifelong weight struggle, and my commitment now to live "Fat Talk Free". (Side note: I've been blown away by the personal letters, emails, and comments that I've received from women around the nation on this subject. Thank you for sharing your journey with me!)
However, I was recently "corrected" by a dear friend, and I now feel like I must ask for your forgiveness.
I try to be careful when I share about my own journey not to mention size or numbers. In fact, personally, I am not trying to achieve a certain size or weight. My goal is health, victory, peace, and freedom.
I once heard a teaching where the Bible teacher (it happened to be Beth Moore!) talked about life in the "free zone".
For some, she said, maybe you live "most free" at a size 10. If you hit a size 12, you know you've been snacking too much, but for you to stay at a 8, you work out more than you should, food becomes your idol, etc..
Ever since I heard that teaching years ago, I just loved it. That's what I want for my life ~ to live in the "free zone". And that's what I want for you too.
Anyway....in my post a few weeks ago, I shared some pictures from years ago when I was at my heaviest. I made comments about how "big" I am in the pictures, and how others responded when they saw my picture. Since I didn't mention a size or number, I thought I was being careful and appropriate. I posted the pictures for you to understand the highs and lows of this journey with weight I've been on throughout my life.
However, one of my good friends from high school pulled me aside the other day (as only friends from high school can!) and shared how my words could have been very hurtful. This same friend has recently lost almost 80 pounds, and when I described myself as "big" ~ she thought I looked pretty good. And she felt that comparatively, she was still much bigger than I am in those pictures. In other words, if I'm saying, "Ohhhh, Mama Big" about myself and she is much bigger, what am I saying about her (or others that might be larger than I am).
Am I making any sense??
All of that to say, please know that if any way sharing my journey and pictures was hurtful to you, I am very sorry. My heart's desire is that each one of us would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are lavishly loved, JUST THE WAY THAT WE ARE.
That God loves us and delights in us, whether we are a size 8, 18, 28, or 38.
That Christ came so that we can have full, abundant, overflowing life today. Regardless of what size our pants are or if we have a muffin top. Or 2.
We are meant to live FREE, FULL, EFFECTIVE, FRUIT-BEARING, KINGDOM ADVANCING lives.
And I am incredibly sorry if anything I've posted has been received incorrectly. Please forgive me. My hope is that *She Sparkles* would always be a source of encouragement, hope, joy, and TRUTH.
And thank you in advance for your grace. :)
While we're talking about it, I'm curious....
Are you experiencing life in your "free zone"? Are you living the full, free life that Christ desires??
If not, what is getting in the way?? Lies?? Faulty thinking?? Bondage?? Addiction??
May today be the day that you allow God to begin a healing work in your heart, mind, and emotions.....and may you experience ALL that He has for YOU!! :)
Thanks for hearing my heart....my randomness is finished, for today. :)
Sweet blessings to you~
P.S. Just in case you didn't see this video on Fat Talk before, PLEASE take 3 minutes to view it today! You'll be so glad you did!
7 comments:
I never felt that you were commenting about heavier persons, just yourself. As a heavier person I think our weight struggles are our own.
I've been praying for your family and neighbours and the arsonist. Hopefully this will be a permanent situation , not just a countdown to how many no fires days.
No offense, here....my friend!
Continuing to storm the heavens with you!!
Blessings, hugs, and prayers,
andrea
Well, can't imagine that your words would be hurtful to anyone, but at least you have "cleared the air" with your apologies.
You do Sparkle in your entries and bring a smile to my face each time I visit.
Blessings to you in your journey through life.
I always appreciate your honesty and openness Cindy. Being a certain size doesn't seem to "cure" struggles we may have with our self image, but we fall into the trap of thinking it may. Thanks so much for sharing this video, too. Really glad to see it!
Oh wow...I'm sitting here in tears, so touched by the kindness of people I have never met. I want to say *thank you* for the prayers and wonderful words of support in the comments of your last post. I just LOVE being part of the Body!!! God bless you all!
Brilliant web site, I hadn't come across www.cindybultema.blogspot.com before in my searches!
Carry on the excellent work!
Oh Cindy,
Clearly I've missed so much. I'm praying now for you, your little one and you friend Gigi.
Also, I was not offended at all but I do understand what your friend said. I am much bigger than any of your photos but I never thought you were referencing anyone else weight but your own.
Our weight is our own personal concern and not only that often, I find, that women automatically judge that weight is from snacking or over eating. It's not always. Weight can come from medications, Thyroid problems that have not been diagnosed, a bottom out metabolism and in my case water weight gain from being in menopause for almost 2 yrs. I still workout regularly each week and watch what I eat but my skin sounds like slushy water and you can see it in my face.
I think what's important is that we all encourage each other, try not to be too sensitive as women and just pray together and support each other at whatever stage we're at.
I received a hurtful comment on my blog earlier this week about my weight and I chose not to post it but rather I emailed her and shared what she already knew. I was in menopause and struggling terribly with that. Her comment was hurtful and not necessary but I responded kindly but also letting her know how words can sting and hurt and that we should encourage and pray for each other not give words of correction when we don't know all the facts.
So many women write to me that have weight concerns and are so hurt by other people on and off line; in their families and churches, on their jobs etc. It's heart breaking. I'm thankful that when GOD LOOKS AT ANY OF US HE SEES THE BEAUTY HE CREATED! HE SEES HIS SON JESUS radiating through us and that's what counts to me. When HE looks at us HE looks with love not with judgment about our weight.
I apologize for the long message. I love you and I'm thankful to you. Again, I do understand where your friend was coming from because someone could have been hurt by that. Love ya.
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