I've been in a funk this week. Ok, maybe this whole month.
I lost my joy. My peace. Even my sparkle. :(
First, some history....
As many of you know, my weight has been a life long issue for me. For as long as I can remember, I've felt not thin enough. Or pretty enough. I believed the lie no one would ever find me beautiful. (Recap here)
My weight struggle came to an all-time high when I was pregnant with my eldest son Jake. I was alone. Soon-to-be a single mom. And I ate my stress, pain, fear, and shame (and anything else someone would feed me!).
Here is a picture of me on July 15, 1994 ~ the day Jake was born. (When Jake was little, when he would see this picture he would say, "Oooh, Mama Biiiiggg!" Yep, Mama was big!)
By Jake's 2nd birthday, I lost all the weight, and more. See pic below...
I didn't eat a piece of Jake's birthday cake that day because I felt so unbelievably fat. It was empty, defeated living.
Thankfully, soon after Jake's 2nd birthday, I met Jesus (woo hoo!) ~ and my life has not been the same since!!
In His great mercy, Jesus has not only given me a new life, but a NEW MIND!! I now have the mind of Christ! And over the past 15 years, I've been very intentional about filling my mind with the TRUTH of who GOD says that I am!
And even though I no longer wear a size 4 (picture below is from this past weekend), I have been walking in Truth and freedom and joy....
....until this summer.
Unfortunately, someone close to me, is uncomfortable with my weight. Thinks I'm unattractive. Doesn't find me beautiful. And thinks it's important to share this information with me.
I wish it was some random weird commenter from cyber-space, but it's someone in my community that I value and respect.
Friends, I'll be honest, this has really thrown me for a loop. The other night I was on the phone with my girlfriend balwing my eyes out (yes, the ugly cry) ~ and I felt like I was headed in a backwards direction, and fast. The lies were taking over, and I didn't know how to make them stop.
Have you ever been there before??
As I spent time praying later that evening, I rememembered something I learned in a Bible Study that was eye opening for me. Kelly Minter, in her book No other gods shares, "Satan will tell us what's true, but he never tells us the TRUTH".
Remembering that simple statement was like an "AHA" light bulb moment for me!!
Yes, it is true, I am not a size 4 (or an 8 anymore).
Yes, it is true, my body has given birth to 4 children.
Yes, it is true, I do not look like the women on the magazines. Yes, those things are true.
But the TRUTH is that I am beautiful and accepted by God....just the way that I am!!
The TRUTH is that God delights in me!!
The TRUTH is that I am secure, significant, set apart in Christ!
The TRUTH is that I am dearly loved by the Lord God Almighty! Woo Hoo!!
"Satan will tell us what's true, but he never tells us the TRUTH".
My greatest desire is to be a voice of TRUTH in my own life, and the lives of every single person I come in contact with (my friends, family, neighborhood, community, on-line, and more!).
I will not allow the comments of others to make me have "crazy head".
I will not return to an eating disorder.
And I will not allow my words to others feed into the lies we receive from the media and the world, about where TRUE BEAUTY and WORTH comes from ~ so help me God!!
That's why I'm declaring my life to be a Fat Talk Free Zone! I recently came across the Reflections Body Image Program. I love what they are doing to teach women to pursue health, well-being, and true beauty!
In case you are wondering "what is fat talk, anyway?" Here's how the Reflections Program describes it...
Fat Talk describes all of the statements made in everyday conversation that reinforce the thin ideal and contribute to women’s dissatisfaction with their bodies.
Examples of fat talk may include: “I’m so fat,” “Do I look fat in this?” “I need to lose 10 pounds” and “She’s too fat to be wearing that swimsuit.”
Statements that are considered fat talk don’t necessarily have to be negative; they can seem positive yet also reinforce the need to be thin – “You look great! Have you lost weight?”
Sorry, Satan, you may try your sly and subtle tricks with me ~ BUT NO MORE! I will live and stand and walk in TRUTH!
And the TRUTH is that our God does not talk "Fat Talk" to His dearly loved children!
The official "Fat Talk Free" week isn't until the fall of this year, but I'm declaring my life to be Fat Talk Free....Lord willing, from this day forward!! Anyone with me??
P.S. For more Works for Me Wednesday tips, head on over to visit Kristen at We are that Family AND... if you've not seen this video on Fat Talk before, PLEASE take 3 minutes to watch it! You'll be so glad you did!