Thursday, October 28, 2010

How To Do It All

Hey Friends! Happy Thursday to you!! I'm knee-deep in Fall fun family stuff today, so I thought I'd re-post my response to one of the most frequently asked questions I receive...."Cindy, How do you do it all?". Enjoy ~ and I'd love to hear from you!

One of the most frequently asked questions I receive is...

"Cindy, how do you do it? You're married, have 4 kids, a speaking ministry, write a blog, lead a Bible study, etc... How do you do it all??".

My answer is simple ~ I don't. Whereas it is true I am married, have 4 awesome kids, love speaking and sharing what God has done in my life, and enjoy all of the great friends I've made on my blog *She Sparkles* ~ the truth is that are a lot of things I don't do.

In fact, here are some of the things I've learned about trying to do it all....

1. "Trying to do it all" doesn't work.

For many, many years I tried to do it all. In my life before Christ, I tried to be...

Super Employee (i.e. workaholic).

Super Thin (i.e. eating disorder).

Super Mom (I was a single mom, it was a ton of work and I never slept!).

Super Perfectly Clean and Organized Home Owner.

It was empty and defeated living.

My search for perfection led me down a path of horribly unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors, and eventually almost cost me my life (literally ~ you can read more here). I am committed to never going back to being Super Woman!!

2. Know your Purpose

I now try to live very intentionally each and every day (while still having a lot of fun along the way)!! :) I spent time each season reflecting on my purpose, and try to make daily choices reflecting those decisions.

3. Prioritize your Time

On my quest for intentional, purposeful living, I have learned it is crucial to prioritize my days. Am I the only one that can turn on the computer to send a quick note, and realize 2 hours later that I forgot what I went to the computer to do?? Ahhh!!

I spent time each morning reflecting on my priorities ~ and then plan my day accordingly. Unfortunately, it also means I must say NO to a lot of things. For this season, I am choosing to not watch TV. I will never be known for my gardening skills. When friends come over, I usually feed them ice cream, tacos or pizza (I'm not kidding). I haven't been to the mall in months.

I'm learning I must say NO to good things in order to say YES to God's best.

Of course, this isn't always easy. Just this past weekend, a wonderfully talented woman I met asked me to go to dinner Friday night. I would have loved to spend more time with her! But in my heart, I knew my purpose and priority of wife and mom must come first.

Instead, I spent the night playing kickball with my family and enjoying ice cream on our deck. I trust God will allow me to spend time with this dear woman another time. Saying NO to good things isn't easy, but I truly believe God will bless our desire to keep our priorities in line.

4. Ask for Help

Asking for help has been the hardest, yet most healthy thing I've learned on my quest for sane, whole living. Here are some "helps" I currently have in place ~

* I've been blessed with a prayer team that lifts my family and all my speaking engagements in prayer.

* I have a college girl that comes over once a week (for the whole day - yippee!) so I can pray, study and write.

* My mom and mother-in-love frequently feed us on Bible study nights.

* I have a cleaning service (and they drive a car that lets the whole neighborhood know when they are over!!!). No secrets here!

* My husband John does all of our laundry. (bless you, honey!)

There is no way I could keep the full schedule I maintain without help from my family and friends!

Isn't it freeing to not have to pretend that we are capable of doing it all?? I love just being ME (the non-gardener, pizza buying ME), and I sure sleep much better these days!

Please know I do not have it all figured out! I'm on a journey, just like you. But the more we can be honest and realistic about what we are capable of doing (and what our floors really look like most days), the more we can free each other from trying to be perfect!!

Life's too challenging on its own, much less pretending that we have it altogether, don't you think??

I love how Beth Moore puts it ~ "We can't do all things for the Glory of God". Amen!!

So, what has God called you to do??

Speak? Write? Be a Mom? Work outside the home? Be a Grandma?? What healthy habits have you put into place to live a healthy, full life?? Are there things God is asking you to let go of while you pursue His purpose for you?? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Share with us please!!

May God guide you as you prioritize your days, may He help you say NO to good things and YES to the best, and fill you with an abundance of His peace and joy as you pursue His purpose for your life!!

God's richest blessings to you~


Michelle said...

Great post, Cindy! Do you home school too?

Cindy Bultema said...

Hi Michelle :)
I always offer to home school my kids...but they won't take me up on it ~ lol! So, no, not a home schooling mom at this time.
Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*!
Cindy :)

Tasha said...

Cindy, this is exactly what I needed to be reminded of. When I am not being Superwoman/wife/mom/youth leader/church secretary/ladies leader etc...I make myself believe I am less than what I should be. I know this is a lie straight from the pits of hell! Thank you for this post. I am on my phone at the moment so I can't write all I would like to. Have a blessed night!

KarriedByHisLove said...

Great inspiration for us all to check our lives! Thanks, Cindy, for sharing your journey and tips with us. The peace and joy you have shows on your face!

KarriedByHisLove said...

Great inspiration for us all to check our lives! Thanks, Cindy, for sharing your journey and tips with us. The peace and joy you have shows on your face!

Julie@comehaveapeace said...

I really love this post, and I feel like every now and then I have to do a really good (deep cleaning anyone?) evaluation of how I'm doing with "not doing it all." Am I doing what matters most? How am I using my time? A good question to keep asking myself.

MOMSWEB said...

Wow. I wrote something very similar to this just today! Thanks for sharing this!

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