Monday, September 20, 2010

Parenting within Your Personality

West Michigan friends: Our Magnificent Monday Bible Study begins on September 27, 2010. We would love to have you join us! :) To pre-register, please visit

Hello Friends!

I am busy preparing for my first MOPS presentation of the Fall season!! I love it! As a former MOPS graduate, I know first hand the blessing of this amazing ministry. I can't wait to share an encouraging message with the Moms from Vermontville, Michigan! Woo Hoo!

In tomorrow morning's message, I'll be sharing 7 things I believe we need to not just "survive" motherhood, but to "thrive" in the role God has called us to. Whenever I share this message, there is one part in particular that seems to especially connect with the women ~ discovering (or rediscovering) what brings us JOY.

In my own journey, there is a definite season in my mothering journey that I lost my joy. When my youngest (Sarah) was born in 2004, I left my full-time ministry job to be a full-time mom. I knew this was what God was calling me to do, and looked forward to the opportunity.

However, once I was home full-time, I felt completely overwhelmed and inadequate. My kids were ages 6 months, 1, 2 and 10. (Yes, we had 3 in diapers!). It was exhausting.

Most of my friends stopped calling. (Not as much fun to "do lunch" when Cindy has 4 kids with her). I was scared to go anywhere by myself with so many kids. I was so lonely.

I watched my neighbor go blueberry picking with her family, and then spend the day making fresh pies. Her son refused to eat my mac and cheese because it wasn't homemade. I felt like such a loser mom.

Another friend was out of the house each day by 8:00 AM. She would go to the park and the beach and always had fresh, healthy snacks for her kids. My kids were addicted to apple juice and ate sugary fruit snacks.

I thought maybe I should go back to work ~ maybe I wasn't cut out to be a stay at home mom. I felt so alone. My counselor at the time said, "Cindy, it sounds like you're going through a desert experience." Really? You think?? I just paid you $10o to tell me that?!

I had completely lost my joy.

And then a dear friend shared with me advice that had been passed on to her. She said, "Cindy, you need to parent within your personality". My personality?? I didn't even know who I was anymore. I was just in survival mode ~ trying to make it through the day without crying and whining (the kids, not me) and have a half-way healthy meal on the table for supper. A shower for me made the day a celebration.

Parent within my personality? Who was I? What brought me joy???? I didn't even know anymore.

So I started to make a list. For me, I love people and parties and celebrations. I love loud fun music, and adventures, and doing things in "themes". I enjoy friends and serving others and most importantly, I am passionate about teaching and sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ and His great love for us all.

Soon I started to incorporate those things into my days. We had "Terrific Tuesdays" and "Wacky Wednesdays" and "Super Saturdays". We would invite friends over for a pink princess party, or have a luau in our driveway, or have scavenger hunts throughout our house to find mini pots of gold. We sang fun, loud Bible songs and went for prayer walks and put flowers on our loved ones doorsteps (and then rang the door bell and ran away)! We had a ball! :) My JOY was back! :)

Now please know, just like I'm not cut out to bake all day or can fresh vegetables, you may think I sound like a weirdo because I love colorful, plastic table cloths. Or that I love to have indoor picnics complete with plastic ants. That's ok.

The key is to find out who God created YOU to be ~ and then be THAT person!

Live a full life being the man/woman God created YOU to be. Discover what brings YOU joy and then parent within YOUR unique, God-given personality. Your family (and the Kingdom) desperately needs you to be YOU!!! :)

What brings you JOY? What are the things you love to do?? What family activities are most fun for you? Or if you could plan a day full of JOY ~ what would that day look like?? I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas!!

Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! Here's to a week filled with an abundance of JOY!! :)

P.S. If you would like to lift up Tuesday's MOPS talk, I would be so humbled and blessed. I will be speaking from 9:30 AM - 10:45 EST. May the Lord use my words to bring hope, joy, and TRUTH to these dear and precious moms.

And if you have a heart for prayer, and would like to pray for my other fall speaking engagements, I would love your support. My list of upcoming speaking engagements is here, and if you send me a note with your e-mail address. I'd love to share with you after the gatherings how God showed up! :)


Lea @ CiCis Corner said...

What a fabulous post! Blessings to you as you lead MOPS. I led MOPS for several years myself and it was such a blessing. May the Lord use you in a mighty way in these young Moms lives. Hugs!

M. Wondergem said...

So encouraging Cindy! I remember being in that dessert place after leaving my career to be "Mom" and wife to my beautiful family. While it was supposed to be a dream come true, it was such a struggle! It definitely has been a journey and God has been faithful to walk with me each and every day. I think that has been the best part of the journey--learning about my Father God and who I am as His daughter! I'll definitely keep you in my prayers tomorrow as your words lift up the women. Blessings!

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

I am so excited to find your blog. It is becoming one of my favorite reads and I have added it to my sidebar...
JOY...loved this post...I so agree we have to find our own personal way...For me its the littles, four little grandsons...I am never happier than when one is spending the night and that's almost every night...We love traveling with the littles...I love encouraging people, I am a holiday decorator, aka THE TREE LADY, so I am very fortunate that I work 4 months out of the year..The tree business is good to me..But you will never see a recipe on my blog. I don't cook...Family fun to me is the BEST fun of all...and we do a lot of it...My perfect day or week is our entire family traveling.


Sandy said...

I was almost in tears reading your post. I have spent a lot of time kind of beating myself up because I don't have 9000 page scrapbooks done, I'm not a good cook, I can't make quilts and not real crafty. I love being outside, being active, but it didn't feel "mommy" enough. Thanks for the insight it was very helpful.

Julie@comehaveapeace said...

This is great, Cindy. My mom helped me to stop feeling like a loser housewife when she told me it was time to "let go of my bag of quilt squares" ... I loved the things my quilting friends made, but I basically dragged my bag around like a weight of guilt. When I "let it go," realizing it wasn't me, I felt so free! Your MOPS group will be so blessed! And thank you for the list of where you're speaking. I WILL pray, and I'll pray right now. And I'm so glad WE ARE ON THE LIST for NOVEMBER !!!!! :)

Charlotte said...

You found out something very important. Something some never find. God doesn't expect us to be someone we are not. It is so exciting when we finally learn to be ourselves as God made us. Thank you for sharing your story. I know it will help others.

Renee said...

This post is wonderful! I wish I had learned this 40 yrs ago....what a blessing to know how to parent within your personality!

Sr Crystal Mary said...

"The Joy of the Lord is your Strength."
Being a mummy can be overwhelming and yet, it was the most rewarding life I ever had. The day my eldest married I cried on and off for 6 months. Now all 4 children are grown up with their own lives and its still hard not doing for them as I once did...
I feel we should find JOY in each moment we have.. and you discovered that. Blessings CML

Ginger~~Enchanting Cottage said...

This is such a encouraging post! I don't have children at home anymore, but I do have my grandchildren. I pray for your ministry,I wish my daughter could be involved in something like this.

Kelee Katillac said...

Hi !

I love this!! Be who you are!

Neat-o blog title too! Just think this is al charming!

love, kelee

Anonymous said...

Cindy, this post is chock full of wonderful wisdom. God bless your MOPS talk on Tuesday!

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