Monday, April 16, 2012

Marriage Monday's: The Other Lover

The Day of Discovery video of my personal testimony will be aired on May 13th (less than a month away!) Stop back this week for a "sneak peek", behind the scenes footage, and more!

Hey Friends!

Y'all know I love my man!
John and I will be celebrating 12 years of marriage this summer! Can I get a Woo Hoo?! :)

Whereas we are as different as night and day (yes, exact opposites!), I love every minute that I'm with John, and try really hard to be the Godly wife God desires for me to be.

Except we all know I'm so not perfect.

Anyway...let me back up.

Do you remember I shared on Friday I was taking the weekend off? My mind and body is still recovering from my whirlwind March (Turkey & Spring Break trips back to back), and I feel dangerously close to a melt down.

And if Mama melts down it just ain't pretty.

Saturday morning I turned off the computer and redeclared to myself I was going offline for the entire weekend. Not a huge deal, right?

I do like to check my email (and FB and blog updates) - but it's not like I'm online that much when my familiy is home. (I don't think so, anyway). My office is right next to the kitchen, so if I happen to walk by, it's convenient to stop and see what my friends are up to or shoot off a quick email reply...but I'm sure my family doesn't even notice. Right??

Back to this Saturday afternoon, John sat down at the computer. Quickly he called for me. "Cindy, there's something wrong with our computer! It's not working!"

He was being completely serious.

I shared, "Honey, It's not broken - just off. I turned it off for the weekend.".

My man shouted "SWEET!".

I was completely confused. John again shouted, "SWEET!". I finally asked what in the world he was talking about.

John shared very matter-of-factly, "Oh good. Finally I'll feel like I'm most important again".

Picture me - speechless. Feeling heartbroken that my man would think he was less important than a computer. And in shock to realize what my nonverbals were saying to the man I love so dearly.

My online time was communicating that "the computer" was more important than my marriage.


You have to know that this is a painful post to share. My conversation with John left me sad, especially thinking my choices had been hurtful to him. But I'm so grateful I could speak Truth to my husband. I'll definitely make different choices to communicate who (besides Jesus) really is the love of my life.

I love my man and not my computer.

How about for you, my dear *She Sparkles* friends. What does your online time communicate to your husband? Your children? Your neighborhood?

What steps/boundaries/safe guards have you put in place to keep first things first? I'd love to hear (and learn!) from you!

Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! God's richest blessings to you!

P.S. Today I am thrilled to join my dear friends
Julie from Come Have A Peace and Jen at Soli Deo Gloria. Be sure to check out these amazing sisterhoods ! :)


Amy Sullivan said...

So, so many "rules" regarding blogging, but here are a few:

1. Not while kids are awake.
2. Go to bed when the husband goes to bed.
3. Take a few unplugged weeks a year just to regroup!

A post we can all relate to for sure.

Julie@comehaveapeace said...

I love Amy's rules. I feel like I have to keep a constant thermometer "in" my blog/home life to check the status of how I'm doing with balance. It's SO easy to let our time slip away and hijack our priorities. You are not alone, sweet Cindy.

Thank you for your on-going encouragement in my life. And I'm so glad for your unplugged weekend. ;)

Sarah Thomas said...

Oh YES. Honestly, it's not THAT much time and it's really important that I keep up with my blog and my manuscript and, well, everything. But I feel safe in guessing my husband feels just the same as yours.

Lisa said...

Ok I am convicted. I know I spend way to much time putzing around on the computer. I knew and know I need to spend more time with the family and just shut it down. I know I will also be able to hear the Lord more since my attention will be focused on him rather then at a screen...
Thank you for sharing.

bp said...

great post, from above comments, it is clear many of us can relate. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Anonymous said...

YOU are a wise woman. I think the Lord is speaking to MANY of us through you (I think I could add a few more things to the list in addition to the computer). As always thank you for being real. Love ya, Jenny C.

Anonymous said...

I am pretty new to the bloggy is a challenge and slippery slope...I just told my husband last night...I don't want blogging to pull my heart away from what is the most important...God...husband and family. blessings to you as you find the right balance.

Linda said...

Bless your heart. I love it that you are so honest Cindy. I think you will help lots of people by posting this.

Balance is necessary to keep things working smoothly...and when we get out of balance everything suffers.

I think we could all do better. Thanks for the reminder!

Love, Linda


I am having the same discussion at my house and on my blog. An important issue.

Denise said...

I appreciate your honest heart.

Lyli said...

Convicting! So convicting.

Unknown said...

It's the sneaking in when you *think* it's not being noticed, but the whole thought of having to "sneak" might be a good sign for me that I just need to be -- available and not on the computer!

marlece said...

good word for the day for sure! Yes, it is quite an invasion if you let it be. I remember when I came to a moment when my kids were sitting here talking to me and my back was to them doing THIS, it made me feel aweful so now try to be much more aware. Face to face if at all possible right?

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