Friday, July 8, 2011

The "GR Massacre", Crushing My Son's Dreams, (& other Random Updates)



If you haven't had a chance to enter my Mary DeMuth parenting book giveaway, it's not too late. You have until Monday, July 11th to enter!

What a sad, tragic day in my city yesterday!

You may have heard in Grand Rapids about the shootings, car chases, hostages, and eventual suicide of the perpetrator late last night (now being called "
The Grand Rapids Massacre".

My husband John and I were one of 14,000+ tuned in to police scanners (and Twitter) to follow the events first hand. Please be in prayer for the victims, families, police, and overall sense of security & safety of our great town.

Dramatic pictures from the Grand Rapids tragedy here



On a more personal note...many of you know my son Jake's love for hockey (and my passion for being a "hockey mom").

Jake's first word was "hockey" (I'm not kidding), and since that time his days have been filled with games, practices, traveling, and lots of time at the rink!

Last week we received the incredible news that Jake's hard work, commitment and skill payed off!!! He made a AAA travel Midget Majors team
. It would be a wonderful, great step towards his dreams of playing college hockey. Woo Hoo!

HOWEVER....this team is quite expensive (a lot of money!). They travel nationwide (i.e. Texas, Canada, etc..). The rink is located in Kalamazoo, Michigan (1 hour away), and Jake would be gone every weekend, including Sunday (no church). Ugh.

Jake had a week to process it, weigh the decision, think things through before he needed to sign a contract. We tried to remind him of missing out on fun senior stuff, etc... Jake had his mind on one thing ~ his dream.

Our family prayed. We sought Godly counsel. We prayed more. We tried to think about the BEST, most Godly decision (
this helped). Jake sought his hockey mentor. John and I talked about this decision for days!


Finally yesterday, (the day he had to sign the contract) I went to Jake and told him I couldn't sign the parent part of the contract. I gently shared my reasonings, and reminded him of my love and commitment to him and our family.


Jake said he felt like "he was watching his dreams get crushed right before him".


It was a hard parenting day (one of my hardest in almost 17 years!), and definitely a day when being a mom is not fun. Ugh.


Have you ever had to share a hard "no" with someone when saying "yes" would have been much easier (and the more popular choice)? Any words of wisdom for me? Please??


Lastly, one a more positive note, our family has been putting our new coping strategies to use! I'm grateful to hear from your comments it's helped you too!



Our good friend Nick (and graphic designer extraordinaire) made a copy for us grown ups to have too, and it looks awesome! I have Nick's permission to share it with you! If you'd like a copy of our 9 Coping Strategies just leave me your email address and I'll send a pdf file right over to you! (It's beautiful ~ suitable for framing).


Whew! What a looong week! I'm ready for some "R & R" this weekend! How 'bout you???


Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! I thank God for you!



P.S. For more Caffeinated Randomness, head over to visit Michelle and friends. Be sure to tell them Cindy sent you!

12 comments:

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

I am so sorry! The hard no's so taxing on a mama's heart but doesn't make it any less necessary. Praying for you and your city during this time of tragedy as well.

Amelia said...

Oh, what a tough day all around. I can't imagine what a difficult decision that was for you and your husband. Praying that your son understands and that God will speak to him directly in the near future confirming your decision. I'd love a copy of your strategies too! And I'm in awe of your summer blogging. I can barely keep up with just my TWO little ones!!

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

I'm so sorry for this parenting struggle and for dreams seemingly crushed. As parents, we understand the bigger picture, but for our young men and women, it will take them some time to arrive there. My oldest just graduated from college. He had a hard decision to make regarding his choice of graduate schools, as two different schools offered him a full-ride, along with a teacher assistantship. I weighed in with my thoughts, but in the end, he ended us choosing the school I didn't prefer. I finally have gotten to place with him (now 22) of saying, "Baby, it's your life; now go live it."

Perhaps one of the hardest realizations for me, but a freeing one as well. Now, to get the other three on their way!

Blessings to your family as the summer unfolds. I'd love to get a set of your family principles...

elaineolsen@live.com

peace~elaine

kendal said...

oh dear. what a tough tough decision for you. and even harder to break it to jake. i'm praying for that right now - that jake will have a sense of the bigger picture, that you will have peace in your home. i haven't had to make THAT big a decision, but i have definitely had to be mrs. no on so so so many things. playingpoker for money on the athletic bus, for the most recent one....

sillymama said...

I just read this very lengthy, not well titled, includes a curse right at the beginning article yesterday, and despite my 3 warnings, it is an amazing article. I think it may help you feel better about saying no. I can't imagine the stress of this decision you had to make but, you're an exemplary parent and I'm relieved I'm not the only one who feels horrible when I have to say no to things. Anyway, here is the article. . .
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/print/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/

Jen said...

I'm so sorry about the hard decision. Praying that everyone will trust that He has greater plans and that those we give up for Him have beautiful rewards.

Stacy said...

Praying for you and your son...it is so hard to learn to take no for an answer. I would love a copy of the copy strategies, hightower.stacy@yahoo.com
Many blessing to you!

Anonymous said...

oh friend... doing the right thing is not always the easy thing... praying for you and yours.

would love an email copy you your coping strategies

akahodgy@sbcglobal.net

Theresa said...

(((Hugs))) I know it is hard but your decision honors God and you held strong to your convictions. We have had to opt out of dance recitals because they were held on Sunday. Although our daughter was fine with it, other family members thought we were crazy. May this be a lesson for your son about honoring God first and trusting Him for all the rest.
Much love to you Cindy!

Michelle said...

I saw the news and immediately thought of you and prayed over your family. I'm sad that it had to end the way it did. Such a senseless crime.

It hurts when we have to say no to our children. I know my grandparents had to do that to my dreams, but I don't regret the decision (primarily financial). If God wants your son to continue in his hockey career, then He will open the way. Otherwise, your son will always have a love and understanding of the game that not many do.

tiffany @ tea w tiffany said...

I can only imagine how hard sharing your position was. I have to trust God will reveal more to your son as he runs to Him. Sending hugs from Colorado,
T

MOMSWEB said...

Well, if God led you to say no to signing the contract, YOU didn't crush his dreams.

God didn't say no either, but is saying, " Jake, I have something better in store for you. I'm moving you in position, so stay ready and stay focused on Me."

I love watching God work in situations like this. Keep us posted!

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