Mailbox Monday: The Dreaded Swimsuit Saga

For many moms (myself included!) ~ TODAY is the first day of summer vacation for the kids. If you run out of ideas, check out my favorite summer games. A fun time for all ~ guaranteed! :)

Hey Friends!

Happy Monday to you!! It's Mailbag Monday today! I received the following sweet note last week.....

Hi Cindy :)
Just wanted you to know what a blessing you are to me!

I often read your blog and I am sooo inspired, blessed and challenged. You are such a gifted communicator! I just read a blog entry from 2009 about your bathing suit fear.

So true for me too...all those crazy body "issues and lies" that the enemy wants you to believe!

I LOVE the quote from the book..."Satan tells you what is true, but not what is TRUTH". I am going keep that one on the forefront on my mind for a longgg time! So, thanks for being you and I love how you share your life :) Love you my friend!! LF

Oh my, LF! I had forgotten what that 2009 post shared (but remember the fear quite well!). Here's a repost of the Dreaded Swimsuit Saga......

...And now for the swimsuit update. You may recall that I hate swimsuit season! (I bared my soul about this topic here.) In so many areas of my life, I am experiencing God's victory and "promise land living", but bathing suit season brings out my every fear and insecurity. Until this week, I hadn't been in a bathing suit since April 2008!

So, the other day I decided I would face my fears and take my kids to the pool. I was PRAYING like crazy about it all morning (Please, Lord, please don't let me see anyone I know...please). Of course, before I am out of the parking lot, I see a friend who comments that she thinks about me everytime she puts on her bathing suit (so she must read my blog and know my "issue"...how embarassing) And as I head into the pool area, a lady yells "Hey Bible Study lady!". Great, I'm thinking...this is going to be a great day, God....

The kids and I stayed at the pool until nearly closing time. My kids had a blast ~ going down the slides, splashing and swiming, being kids. And would you know...I survived. Nobody teased me. Called me a bad name. Made a funny comment to me. I made it!

Isn't it crazy how our fears can become so irrational and huge - and almost paralyzing?! And not until we step out into those areas of fear...out of our safety and comfort zone...can we see things more clearly. And Truthfully.

Like why in the world when I am 40 years old do I still think someone is going to tease or reject me. Where does this all come from?? And, most importantly, how in the world do I move forward??

As I spent time praying about it later that evening, I rememembered something I recently learned in a Bible Study that was eye opening for me. Kelly Minter, in her book No other gods shares, "Satan will tell us what's true, but he never tells us the TRUTH".

Remembering that simple statement was like an "AHA" light bulb moment for me!!

Yes, it is true I was teased as a little girl for being "the chubby cousin".
Yes, it is true, I am not a size 6 (or an 8 anymore).
Yes, it is true, I have given birth to 4 children.
Yes, I'm not comfortable in a bathing suit. Yes, those things are true.

But the TRUTH is that I am beautiful and accepted by God....just the way that I am!!
The TRUTH is that God delights in me!!
The TRUTH is that I am secure, significant, set apart in Christ!
The TRUTH is that I am dearly loved by the Lord God Almighty! Woo Hoo!!

"Satan will tell us what's true, but he never tells us the TRUTH".

Kelly Minter shares..."Let that sink in for a minute. For example, if you're currently struggling with your finances, you might think something along these lines...I don't have enough money to pay my bills; I'm going to lose everything. It might be true that you don't have enough money to pay your bills, but the TRUTH is that God will take care of your every need (Matt. 6:25-30).

I think this is what we see in Genesis 3. Satan spoke a lot of true things, yet none of it was the TRUTH! This is where deception can play such a huge role in our lives. Though we all have succumbed to believing bold-faced lies, my hunch is that we have far more often been captivated by sheer deception."

Aha!! Satan tries to deceive us by telling us what may be true...but he never tells us the TRUTH! True vs. TRUTH. How about for you?? Are there areas of your life where the enemy is trying to deceive you? Is he filling your mind with things that may be true...but are not God's TRUTH??

I would love to hear from you!!!

May the Lord reveal to you ANYTHING that is getting in the way of experiencing all of the FULLNESS and FREEDOM that He has for you!!!

And if you see me at the pool this summer ~ please feel free to say Hi!!

A good friend helped me reframe my pool experience from the other day. When I said, "Obviously God wasn't listening to my prayers on the way to the pool. Everywhere I looked there were people I knew". My dear friend challenged me and said, "What if Dana in the parking lot, and Rachel from Bible study, and the other people you knew at the pool were actually reminders from God Himself that you were not alone?? That He was with you." Hmmm....sounds just like Him, doesn't it?!

Let's pray...Oh Lord, THANK YOU that Your Word says TRUTH will set us free. Please, Lord, set us free from any fear, lie, habit, attitude, addiction that is getting in the way of the full LIFE that You have for us. Eradicate any unhealthy roots. Plant seeds of Truth. For Your Purpose. For Your Glory Alone! Amen :)



P.S. The picture is for my friends that still don't believe I put on a bathing suit. Watch out ~ by the end of the summer, I might be going down the slide!!! :)


P.S.S. If you ever have a Mailbag Monday question, please feel free to send it to me @ cindy.bultema@comcast.net! :)

Mailbag Monday: Was There One Thing.....?

If you're sticking around home this Spring Break, be sure to check out my A to Z ~ Spring Break "Stay-cation" ideas! What fun!

Hey friends! :)

I received a sweet note from a new Red Hot Retreat/Bible Study friend. She asked great questions! Here's her note (with her permission, of course) and my response. I would love to hear anything YOU might add ~ you have great suggestions to my Mailbag requests! Here is her e-mail...

Dear Cindy,

I really enjoyed the Red Hot retreat and tonight's brush up at Bible study. It gave me a wake up call and quite a challenge.

I'm struggling to meet that challenge.

I'm going to be honest (and I'm also tired) so this might sound all crazy but here's the deal:

The retreat/Bible study really resonated with me. I'm 26, been married for 3 1/2 yrs. and have 2 kids (2 1/2, 1yr), so my life has done a lot of changing.

I look back at my college years and hate the girl I was (and that was not that long ago...).

I'm ready, willing, wanting, whatever you want to call it, to fully submit my life to Christ, like really do it. You know, be Red Hot. I want to be able to really say without hesitation that I love God with all my heart, with all my mind and with all my strength. I want to fulfill my purpose as a witness. I want people to see in me something that only God does.

I'm just having trouble knowing what's next and how to get there.

I've been thinking about a mentor, but I don't know really what that would look like, let alone who.

How did you go from one opposite to the other? Was there one thing that was the hinge on which everything else took place?

If you're banging your head, saying this is the side of ministry I'd rather not deal with, I understand. But, I thought hey, if something comes to mind, I would love to hear it.

Thanks, A New Friend

And for my response...

Hello dear one ~

I've thought about your note all week long! I love your passion and desire to fully submit to whatever God has for you!! I know God will honor you for your commitment, and trust He will reveal Himself to you in new and significant ways.

Thanks for trusting me ~ and if there's any way I can come alongside of you, I am here! :)

As for the mentor, for every season of my life, I've prayed and asked God to bring someone into my life to mentor me. He is so faithful, and for every season God has brought a special person to me. When I worked full-time, it was a woman boss/mentor. When I was home at home with my little ones, He brought women into my life to help me grow in being a Godly wife/mom, etc..

Now that I am pursuing the study of the Scriptures, once again God has provided an amazing mentor who is a faithful prayer warrior/former Bible teacher.

My encouragement would be to pray and watch God work. And if you see someone who you want to be like (because you see in Christ in them!) ~ don't be afraid to pray into the relationship, invite them to coffee, and ask them more about their journey.

Does that make sense?? Does it help at all??

Also, how did I go from one extreme to the other?? Good question.... :)

It definitely was a journey and process.

When I met Jesus (as you know from the retreat) ~ I was a single mom, had a drug & alcohol problem, potty mouth, low self esteem, negative thoughts, etc.. I was a real mess when I look back!

Thankfully God sees us not as we are, but who we could be!

I guess I would describe my transformation like an onion. Slowly, through a lot of love, grace, and tears, God would pull back layer upon layer upon layer.

First, the drugs had to go. Then the alcohol. Then He changed the way I talked. Then He changed my mind. Right now He is working on my heart...softening it and making it tender to the things He cares most passionately about.

Thankfully it's through grace. I used to beat myself up big time because I had so far to go (and had made such a mess of things) ~ but now I realize that's not how God talks to His dearly loved girls .

When I hear...."You should have...You ought to...You're not good enough...", etc.. ~ I know that's not the voice of my Daddy. And I know this from spending so much time in His Word.

As for the "next step", my encouragement (as "hokey" as this sounds) would be to remember those P's.

(Side Note: I taught 5 P's at the Red Hot retreat ~ Presence, Purpose, Power, Promises, and Passion)

* Spend time in His Presence.

* Listen for His voice and what He has to say to you.

* Remember your purpose, even in the midst of mothering. You'd be surprised at how many times God has opened "spiritual doors" at play dates, McDonalds playland, mommy gatherings, etc..

* Receive by faith the filling of His Holy Spirit power, and watch Him open doors and work through you.

* Keep your thoughts fixed on Scripture, and as you spend time with Him, keep your relationship fresh and vibrant so that your passion stays alive.

I'm not sure if this is helpful at all, but I am asking God to make "stick" those things He wants you to hear. I look forward to getting to know you in the weeks to come.

If you ever want to talk/pray after group, please let me know. I'd love to do so!!

Cindy :)

What do you think, Bloggy friend? How would you encourage a friend struggling to meet the challenge of living "Red Hot" for Him? Also, may I ask for you to pray for this young mom ~ and any woman wrestling with living out their calling? May God infuse us with strength, courage, patience, Truth and a whole bunch of joy!

And please....I'd love for you to share what you've found works for you!!!

Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*! Have an amazing, joy-filled week!!!

P.S. If you have a Mailbag question, feel free to send it my way! :)

Monday Mailbox Question: How do you do it all??

One of the most frequent questions I receive is...,

"Cindy, how do you do it? You're married, have 4 kids, a speaking ministry, write a blog, lead a Bible study, etc... How do you do it all??".

My answer is simple ~ I don't.

Whereas it is true I am married, have 4 awesome kids, love speaking and sharing what God has done in my life, and enjoy all of the great friends I've made on my blog *She Sparkles* ~ the truth is that are a lot of things I don't do.

In fact, here are some of the things I've learned about trying to do it all....

1. "Trying to do it all" doesn't work.

For many, many years I tried to do it all. In my life before Christ, I tried to be...

Super Employee (i.e. workaholic).
Super Thin (i.e. eating disorder).
Super Mom (I was a single mom, it was a ton of work and I never slept!).
Super Perfectly Clean and Organized Home Owner.

It was empty and defeated living.

My search for perfection led me down a path of horribly unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors, and eventually almost cost me my life (literally ~ you can read more here). I am committed to never going back to being Super Woman!!

2. Know your Purpose

I now try to live very intentionally each and every day (while still having a lot of fun along the way)!! :) I spent time each season reflecting on my purpose, and try to make daily choices reflecting those decisions.

3. Prioritize your Time

On my quest for intentional, purposeful living, I have learned it is crucial to prioritize my days. Am I the only one that can turn on the computer to send a quick note, and realize 2 hours later that I forgot what I went to the computer to do?? Ahhh!!

I spent time each morning reflecting on my priorities ~ and then plan my day accordingly. Unfortunately, it also means I must say NO to a lot of things. For this season, I am choosing to not watch TV. I will never be known for my gardening skills. When friends come over, I usually feed them ice cream, tacos or pizza (I'm not kidding). I haven't been to the mall in months.

I'm learning I must say NO to good things in order to say YES to God's best.

Of course, this isn't always easy. Just this past weekend, a wonderfully talented woman I met at the Speaker's Conference asked me to go to dinner Friday night. I would have loved to spend more time with her! But in my heart, I knew my purpose and priority of wife and mom must come first.

Instead, I spent the night playing kickball with my family and enjoying ice cream on our deck. I trust God will allow me to spend time with this dear woman another time (even though she lives in VA!). Saying NO to good things isn't easy, but I truly believe God will bless our desire to keep our priorities in line.

4. Ask for Help

Asking for help has been the hardest, yet most healthy thing I've learned on my quest for sane, whole living. Here are some "helps" I currently have in place ~

* I've been blessed with a prayer team that lifts my family and all my speaking engagements in prayer.

* I have a college girl that comes over once a week (for the whole day - yippee!) so I can pray, study and write.

* My mom and mother-in-law frequently feed us on Bible study nights.

* I have a cleaning service (and they drive a car that lets the whole neighborhood know when they are over!!!). No secrets here!

* My husband John does all of our laundry. (bless you, honey!)

There is no way I could keep the full schedule I maintain without help from my family and friends!

Isn't it freeing to not have to pretend that we are capable of doing it all?? I love just being ME (the non-gardener, pizza buying ME), and I sure sleep much better these days!

Please know I do not have it all figured out! I'm on a journey, just like you. But the more we can be honest and realistic about what we are capable of doing (and what our floors really look like most days), the more we can free each other from trying to be perfect!! Life's too challenging on its own, much less pretending that we have it altogether, don't you think??

I love how Beth Moore puts it ~ We can't do all things for the Glory of God. How true!!

So, what has God called you to do?? Speak? Write? Be a Mom? Work outside the home? Be a Grandma?? What healthy habits have you put into place to live a healthy, full life?? Are there things God is asking you to let go of while you pursue His purpose for you?? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Share with us please!!

May God guide you as you prioritize your days, may He help you say NO to good things and YES to the best, and fill you with an abundance of His peace and joy as you pursue His purpose for your life!!

God's richest blessings to you~

Mailbag Question: Prayer Resources

Hey friends!! I received the following Mailbag Question today...

Hi Cindy,
On your blog, awhile back, I pulled off a list of ways to pray for your husband, and one for the children. I had them printed, but in my organization lost them—is that possible? Haha! Anyway, I didn’t see a search button on your blog, do you remember which post it was in and could you let me know?
Thanks! C.S.

Dear C.S. :)
You have a good memory! My Prayer Focus month was in July of 2009. For a quick review of the original post, you can click here. I've also put new Prayer Resource links at the bottom of today's post. And remember...
When men work, men work
but when men pray....God works!!!

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Prayer Downloads for You...

A Prayer for Women by John Piper (click here). I love praying this aloud ~ this is the woman I desire to be!!

Prayers for Spiritual Growth by Joyce Meyer (click here).
May I encourage you to tape this to your refrigerator and pray it for yourself and your loved ones each day!!

31 Biblical Virtues to Pray for Your Children (click here).

31 Days of Praying for Your Husband (click here)

Intercessory Prayer for the Lost by Dutch Sheets (click here)

I've been looking for a great resource to lift up the crisis in Haiti each day in prayer. Clearly we need to pray for many miracles for Haiti and its precious people. If you come across a resource, prayer calendar, or want to make one to share, please let me know. I'd love to pass it along!

Do you have any prayer resources that you have found helpful? Books that have encouraged you on your prayer journey? Stories of answered prayer?? Share with us please!!

I'll close with one of my favorite quotes on prayer...

"When a Christian shuns fellowship with other Christians, the devil smiles. When she stops studying the Bible, the devil laughs. When she stops praying, the devil shouts for joy. "
~ Corrie Ten Boom

Let's stay on our knees praying!! Prayer is the work!!
And may the Lord bless you with a fresh measure of His presence and His peace!



P.S. Speaking of prayer, I am knee deep in a number of significant writing/speaking opportunities. If the Lord brings me to mind, would you mind praying? I am asking God to prepare the hearts of the women, to know specifically what He wants me to say to each of the gatherings, and for health and protection for me and my family. I would be so grateful! How can I pray for you?? :)