Thursday, August 11, 2011

Trying to be Thankful Thursday ~ but I'm really, really sad

Hey Friends!

Happy Thankful Thursday to you!

I'll be honest ~ I
hate goodbyes. If you've been my friend for any length of time, you know this is true. You can't get rid of me if you try :) .

Goodbye is not in my vocabulary.

I know what you're probably thinking. "Cindy, experts say the ability to say goodbye is a necessary life skill".

I know, I know.

And I want to be healthy and whole and normal ~ I really do.

But goodbyes bring up too much pain for me...especially after experiencing the
tragic death of my fiance David just 5 months before our wedding and 2 weeks before Christmas.

I don't want to have to say good-bye anymore.

Which brings me to today. The Lord has blessed me with such a wonderful group of friends. I'm so fortunate, I realize this.

And there are 3 friends that I spend the most time with, and these girls really, really know me.

Julie, Jill and Jen. I call them my "3 J's" and thank God for them daily.

Last fall, when Jen's husband received a job offer in Pennsylavania, I could barely take it. I cried all of the time. I had a melt down in gymnastics. I still get teary-eyed when I walk past our favorite weekly coffee shop.
Did I mention I hate goodbyes?

Thankfully, Jill and Julie helped me through (of course, Jesus & John were also there for me!) and I settled into having my "2 J's" close by (and cherish my phone calls from PA with Jen).

Imagine my sadness when Jill shared this spring that her husband was offered a job in Minnesota. NOOOOO!! Jill and I meet every Tuesday at Starbucks. We sit together at church every Sunday. Her husband is mentoring my son Jake. Our kids love each other. We celebrate St Patricks Day & New Years Eve and go to 4th of July parades together.

And only Jill would show up at my door like this when I was having a bad day....

You know the rest of the story. The moving truck arrived at their house yesterday.

Saying goodbye is a necessary life skill, and I guess it's time I start to mature in this area (but I still don't want to!).

Today I'm choosing gratitude. I made a list of the Top 10 things I love about Jill, and have been cherishing our special times together over the past 6+ years.

How about you?? How have you made it through painful goodbyes??

I'd love to learn from you, my dear bloggy friends. :)

Thanks for stopping by *She Sparkles*. Wishing you a joy-filled day!


Unknown said...

oh sweetie, good-byes awful, no getting around that one. Once nice thing with this day and age is computers and texting and have you tried skype yet? You and Jill could set up skype accounts and then set 'dates' where you get on and 'visit' you could both by yourself a starbucks and then 'meet' by skyping! :) I send you only my love and support as you go through this time!!!!

melody at gmail dot com or

kendal said...

ummmm. i cry wehn i leave my family (extended) after a week at the beach together. so, i get this. and i'm so sorry. the gratitude list? great idea.

Leah Adams said...

I am so sorry that this 'goodbye' is entering your life, but I just bet that God has something awesome for both of you. Blessings to you.

sally said...

Jill really is a wonderful person. A kind, honest, Godly woman. Minnesota is a lucky state.

Amelia said...

Oh Cindy! I have been on both ends of this - the leaving and the being left behind. Such deep emotions for both parties! Earlier this summer, I even wrote a post about what some of our FL friends did that made the goodbyes so special. Hope some of their ideas help!

Anonymous said...

It's never goodbye when your friends are of the family of faith. I'm sure you've experienced how quickly life goes by, it's only "I'll see you later!" I know you know that...but I wanted to remind you. You seem like just the kind of friend anyone would be honored to have.

Keena said...

sorry you are having to say goodbye to your dear really does stink....

Melody said...

Well pooh. I'm so sorry your sweet friend is moving. She's so cute and has to be fun if she's your friend. Love the diet coke and Starbucks pic. ha!

Sarah said...


I found your blog on "Finding Heaven", and came for a look because I loved its title.

You say "I want to be ... normal, I really do" - well, if it's any consolation, you sound just like me! I hate goodbyes too. I haven't had to go through anything like what you went through with David, but I can relate to your stories of Jen and Jill. I have some friends in Scotland. If you were to say to me: "Pick a couple who've done the most to help you grow as a Christian", Neil and Kate would be the ones. I'd had 5 years of living in the same town as them; they'd led the Overcomers group (for 16-30s) that I was in; then Neil got a job-offer and they moved back up to Scotland. When I found out they were leaving, I was devastated for a while - not just for me, but for the church I went to, which had leant on them very heavily (they'd always be willing to step in if needed, and Neil led worship a lot on his guitar). What would we do without them? I still wanted to grow in God, and I didn't know how He would provide people whose example I could follow, like I had Neil and Kate.

I was so upset, but another friend lent me a CD. These 3 songs particularly ministered to me; maybe they will to you, too:

Then, a couple of days after I got the CD, someone had a word from the Lord at church. It was: "You have a choice. You can choose to walk away, or you can choose to follow". I wanted to follow, and after that, I can't explain it other than to say I felt peace.

They left 4 years ago and although I still miss them, I'm not in floods of tears over it anymore, and God has kept on providing for me and I'm still walking with Him; I can praise Him for that.

I hope this comment helps. Keep sparkling!

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